Loving Touch

November 3, 2008

We began our religion course today.  The first thing that we are learning about is Reiki.  Reiki is the practice of healing with laying hands on a person.  I’ve heard of the practice before coming to India, but today I actually got to practice it.  I don’t know how I feel about it.  We were taught how to do Reiki on ourselves.  While doing it I was waiting for something to happen but nothing did.  At least I think nothing happened.  I guess that I didn’t know what I was looking for.  That might have something to do with it.  I probably should have asked before we started.  Darn!  Plus, I don’t really know very much about alternative healing.  I think that I sometimes let my inexperience with things like this interfere with the experience.  I found myself thinking how stupid Reiki is.  I think that I will try harder during class tomorrow.  It was kind of funny because after the experience the instructor talked about giving yourself a loving touch.  I guess that was just really funny to me.  I had to stop myself from laughing, and for those of you who know me, you know that can be extremely hard for me to do sometimes.  I just think that a lot of things are funny at inappropriate moments. 

I did get something out of this experience.  The leader talked about loving one’s self.  This actually struck a cord with me.  Throughout my travels I have found it harder and harder to love myself and love the place I come from.  I think this is because of the guilt I feel about living a privileged life and my personal lifestyle.  I started thinking about why I feel guilty.  Why should I feel guilty?  I was placed in my position and I am lucky that I am here.  Now that I know how lucky I am, I can make a change.  Opened eyes are probably the best gift that I could have ever been given.  Thank you India for opening my eyes.  I may not be able to make changes that make the history books, and maybe that’s okay.  I am only one person, but I am one person with consciousness and the ability to do something.  I think that can love myself for this.