Ten Rupees

November 11, 2008 We had a really interesting lecture today about Islam. However, I am not going to talk about it right now because we did something way more interesting after class. At about 2:30pm (one of the hotter parts of the day) we went to the Charminar city market. Let me tell you, this market was insane. There were thousands of people, cars and venders everywhere. It was like being trapped in a crazy, dirty maze. We stepped off the bus and went into the crowd. Beggars and venders immediately surrounded us. Women holding babies pulled at our arms and said, “ten rupees, ten rupees, baby.” I felt like this was a bad idea at first. I was so worried that I was going to get lost in all of this craziness. All I wanted to do was get back on the bus and leave this place behind. Instead, I followed the group through the thick crowd and a honking traffic jam. I sometimes wonder why there are just so many people in this country. Everything always seems so crowded. Before coming to India I had never seen so many people in one day before, and its not like I can blend into the crowd here. Our group attracts so much attention. People want to take our pictures so that they can go to their friends and say, “Look! I saw a group of white people today!” I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I hate not fitting in with the crowd. I hate being looked at. I hate being the center of attention in this country. People here look at me and see a white, wealthy woman but what they don’t realize is that I have about $40,000 in students loans waiting for me back in the United States. I have always taken for the fact that in the US I am just another person. I can’t wait to be anonymous again. We split up into smaller groups to look around the market. My group consisted of Brianna, Auzzie, Dusty and myself. We walked around the crowded market. Something happened to me today that I am not proud of. As we walked through the market, beggars would come up to us. I gave away all the change that I had in my possession. It was only about 20 rupees total. There was a woman holding a tiny baby in her arms and she came up to us and began begging for money. I gave her 5 rupees, but she wouldn’t leave me alone. She kept grabbing at me and asked for me money. I had no more change to give out and I was not going to get my wallet out to give her money. She was persistent. She grabbed my arm. I looked over and notice that she had wiped some disgusting green substance on my arm. I got extremely mad. I wiped it off and used hand sanitizer on it. She wouldn’t leave me alone. I tried to push her away. The thing that I am not proud of is the fact that I got so angry with this woman. I wanted to hit her. I am so upset with myself for feeling this way. How can I be mad at someone who might really need my help? I will have to try harder to understand these people and not get so upset when people are begging for money from me. I need to take sometime to feel okay about this.